First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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