I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
