the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
