dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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