Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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