There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize