It's like a parade of train wrecks.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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