I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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