omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
