SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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