He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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