I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
