You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
