So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
