you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
