Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
