playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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