Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
