Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
