She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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