But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
