I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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