no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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