I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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