Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
