Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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