yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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