We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
