I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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