I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
