Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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