I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
