these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
