I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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