you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize