you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize