omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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