Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
