New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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