I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He did a backflip because drugs
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
