Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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