you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
