I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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