I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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