"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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