I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
