haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap