what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.