i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"