we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
