She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
