Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
