I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
