So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize