just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
