I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
