I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Randomize
