So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
