this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Every concussion has its silver lining
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
