are you still at the devil's house?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
